OFOC buries Brexit at the Tory Conference

OFOC today buried Brexit at the Conservative Party Conference in the International Convention Centre in Birmingham. The group were briefly joined by Mr. Jacob Rees-Mogg, MP for Somerset, who was there for the burial of his pet political project.

The funeral rites included a hearse and coffin, pallbearers, a gravestone, and finally a eulogy for the two year-old idea. Mr. Rees-Mogg’s attendance was the cherry on the cake of a sober interment of the broken promises of leading Leave figures like himself, whose grand visions could never quite materialise into realistic proposals.

With Brexit having passed on, it is clear that a People's Vote on the final deal is the only way forward.

OFOC spokesperson Cathleen Clarke, who delivered the eulogy, said: “I laid Brexit to rest. Little did I know that one of this project’s forefathers would be stopping by to see the funeral rites of his political progeny.”

“Credit to Jacob Rees-Mogg - he did the decent thing. It was nice of him to stop by as his brainchild, Brexit, passed on into the political afterlife.”

OFOC co-president Lara Spirit added: “It was great to see Mr. Rees-Mogg have to face up to the facts of Brexit’s mortality. Brexit’s two years of life were nasty, brutish, and short, and finally it has expired as a political idea. My generation realised this a long time ago. Hopefully with today’s intervention, Mr. Rees-Mogg will begin realising it too.”

“Today we have buried Brexit. Absent Mr. Rees-Mogg and Mr. Farage’s voodoo politics, we won’t raise this woebegone idea from the crypt. Sunlit uplands are ahead, but they won’t include Brexit, and it’s time our leaders woke up to that fact.”

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